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13 July 2012 @ 07:44 pm
Well we found out there is actually something wrong with me and I’m not just overweight with facial hair issues….well yes I am but there is a reason! And that reason is
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome


Most relevant gif I could find.

From wiki

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common female endocrine disorders. PCOS is a complex, heterogeneous disorder of uncertain etiology,but there is strong evidence that it can to a large degree be classified as a genetic disease.

PCOS produces symptoms in approximately 5% to 10% of women of reproductive age (12–45 years old). It is thought to be one of the leading causes of female sub fertility and the most frequent endocrine problem in women of reproductive age.

The principal features are anovulation,resulting in irregular menstruation, amenorrhea , ovulation-related infertility, and polycystic ovaries; excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones, resulting in acne and hirsutism; and insulin resistance , often associated with obesity , Type 2 diabetesand high cholesterol levels. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among affected women.

Basically I’m just happy that there is actually something wrong with me, that it’s not something I did, I won’t have my option to have kids or not taken away from me, it explains my depression and anxiety (maybe no more Zoloft?) I’ll be able to exercise and actually SEE results. And I’ll actually feel feminine.

Also I’ll be happy with myself, it will help my confidence.
22 June 2012 @ 05:45 pm
Somebody explain to me why people are even doing bath salts. Some woman who lives near me just ate her arm, a kid my sister knows ate him bottom lip off,and another woman near me attacked her 3 year old child.

It’s all over the news about the dangers it brings, the horror stories, why the hell try it? I just don’t get it. Maybe people think they’ll have control over it. Just boggles me
21 June 2012 @ 08:12 pm
Rose Tyler: "I can see everything, all that is, all that was, all that ever could be."

When I saw the end to Journey's End, I wanted to rage at 10, because once again he was making a major decision in Rose's life, and my little shipper heart was like "she's getting screwed!!! Sure leave her with the genocidal angry angsty moody clone...excellent plan you alien bastard" But that changed with the rewatching of The Parting of Ways.

When Rose absorbs the Time Vortex she tells the Doctor "I can see everything, all that is, all that was, all that ever could be." Now maybe after he took the vortex from her, she couldn't totally remember what happened, but I'm in the camp that still thinks there's some Bad Wolf left in her. I mean look at "Tooth and Claw"

Host: Look, inside your eyes, you've seen it too!
Rose: Seen what?
Host: The wolf, there's something of the wolf about you!
Rose: I don't know what you mean.
Host: You burnt like the sun, but all I require is the moon!

It could be argued it was a throw away line, or just a simple call back to the past, but I think if Piper would have stayed after the second series it would have been revisited again.

Anyways I think Rose always knew what was going to happen with her and the Doctor, just wasn't clear on all the details. I think in that moment she saw herself without him, and another version of herself still with him. So she was able to say with conviction "Forever" when the Doctor asked her "How long are you going to stay with me", because there was that possibility, and she was going to hold on to it.

And how the clone works into all of this?

When she saw herself spending forever with the Doctor it was with the clone actually, she just didn't know it. That's why I think that's why you see this acceptance in Rose, when she and the original Doctor part ways, sure she argues you a bit, but in her heart she still knows it's him.

And Mr.10.5,do I still think he's just a clone, a consolation prize? Nope. To quote, Martha Jones "It's all a bit Harry Potter"

I kinda think the severed hand sorta worked as a horcrux. Yup part of the Doctor's soul was placed in the hand. Ten's life completely revolved around Rose, he created his form, and personality for her. I think he knew as well, all the possibilities and saw this as a way to be with Rose. He saw himself with her and without her as well ("That's what I see all the time! And doesn't it drive ya mad?!")
20 June 2012 @ 07:48 pm
I wish my sister wasn't so damn ungrateful. She was a horrible student for most of high school and my parents really shouldn't feel the need to get her anything for graduation, but they are.

They told her they were going to pay for driving lessons,so she could get her license. My dad has been helping her, but he wants her to get some final instruction from a professional, so she's ready to take her road test. She freaked out, and was like "I wish you would have talked to me about this...the instructor will probably be an asshole...and I'm going to be expected to take my road test after 4 lessons wtf" Jesus you've gotten dad to teach you, basically buffaloed your art teacher into teaching you..it's a final brush up. Quit fucking acting like the world revolves around you.

I don't know how the fuck we are related.
Current Mood: angryangry
19 June 2012 @ 06:21 pm
I wonder how some people get their muses to listen to them. Mine have run off and gone on vacation. To where? I have no idea. I need help finding them.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
20 November 2011 @ 09:57 pm
You can learn a lot about someone by the music they listen to. Hit shuffle on your iPod or mp3 player and write down the first 25 songs. No cheating or skipping songs that are shameful. That is the fun!

1. It's About Time-Barcelona
2. Hand of Sorrow-Within Temptation
3. Where'd You Go-Fort Minor
4. So She Dances (Live)-Josh Groban
5. Something Happened on the Way to Heaven-Phil Collins
6. What Child Is This?-Josh Groban
7. Big Eyed Fish-Dave Matthews Band
8. Secret-The Pierces
9. Portrait-Lucia Micarelli
11.She Is Like the Swallow-Lucia Micarelli with Leigh Nash
12.Fresh Feeling-Eels
13.Talamak-Toro Y Moi
15. Dinner-Yo Yo Ma
16. Over My Head (Cable Car)-The Fray
17. Julia-Chantal Kreviazuk
18.Granny (Live)-Dave Matthes Band
19. Daylight Robbery-Imogen Heap
20.Au Jardin Des Sans Pourquoi-Josh Groban
21. Light, All Light-Evan Brightly
22. Wait It Out-Imogen Heap
23. Old Dirt Hill-Dave Matthews Band
25. L'Ultima Notte-Josh Groban
22 August 2011 @ 03:11 pm
I can fake with the best of anyone
 I can fake with the best of them all
 I can fake with the best of anyone
 I can fake it all

Sometimes I feel like a fake, that I have no right to call myself an artist. I should be constantly creating, but most times it feels like I'm just all talk and no show. I obsess over minor details, and scare myself out of doing anything, for fear it won't be good enough. And I know if I don't throw myself into my work sooner than later, I'll never know if my work it good enough.I'm tired of being the villian, self-sabotager, and victim in my life story. I scared to take the leap, but I have to push that away, take a deep breath and jump in.

I started looking Molly Crabapple's work today, it's sexy, sultry, unique whimsical, and so many other things. Reading about her beginnings it was comforting to know she started merely copying illustrations and exploring the world around her, and eventually coming up with her own unique style. There is no shame is mimicking, a style until you form your own, is what I learned today.

Another thing I learned today is that in a sense art is all about how you carry yourself. Your art could be complete shit and as long as you have confidence and conviction you can fake it, and no one would be the wiser.It's all about how you carry yourself, as long as you give off a certain air, you can fake it just like everyone else. And I know art is a subjective thing, and I have no right saying some piece of art could be total shit, but it's just I've seen my professors' work in galleries, and I've seen BFA student's work, and BA student's work. And you know whose work I keep coming back too, because to me it has more emotional depth andconviction ? The students! Maybe it's because I'm still a student and I see myself in their work, but some professors, I see nothing but laziness, nothing is soul stirring.

I'm tired of being fake, I'm tired of being in a creative rut, I'm tired of scaring myself out of doing things, for fear of failure. I'm mostly I'm tired of living on the border of where a truth becomes a lie, and lie becomes the truth.
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: Light All Light-Evan Brightly
07 July 2011 @ 01:31 pm
Which is your favorite classic Beatles’ song, and why?

Eleanor Rigby kills me every time. The string arrangement and lyrics are dark and gorgeous. I just hate how it abruptly ends, it leaves me wanting more.
05 July 2011 @ 10:34 pm
What tune do you regularly find yourself humming or singing in the shower?

I find myself singing show tunes or my favorite 90's music such as Seal's "Kiss From A Rose" or "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia while I'm in the shower, I find that the shower is the best place to sing, everybody sounds like a rock star or diva in there, the acoustics are amazing.
05 July 2011 @ 10:28 pm
When I saw the musical Beauty and the Beast a few months ago, I wouldn't describe the Beast expressing any sexuality, but that changed when I watched a press reel clip of Terrence Mann, who originally played the Beast do the whole "West Wing bit" with Susan Egan's Belle before she belts out "Home". He says "Do you understand?!" and she doesn't answer him quick enough and he ends up grabbing her by the neck and asks her again "Do you understand", but this time he says it in this sexual manner, while gently stroking her cheek. Watching that really took me aback, it was something I wasn't expecting to see in a Disney musical. It really had an whole entire level to the Beast's character, sure he is basically this man-child going through adolescent, but there is a very domineering/sexually raw element to him.

I don't think that idea has been passed on to other performers, they play the Beast in a more comedic way. I think with Terrence's he really played into the idea of "Vincit qui se vincit" which roughly translate too "He conquers who conquers himself "  (It's on the stained glass sequence in the film, peeps). He made the Beast multi-dimensional and complex, so it was easy to believe he was at war with himself.

  I know Terrence now refers to BaTB as a "glorified children's musical" but in that moment I saw, it wasn't. It was deep, emotional, complex story about conquering yourself, your past and realizing the power that love has.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Hushabye Mountain-Dick Van Dyke